Yes, finally I saw it. Man Of Steel. In fully realised High Definition...on a fuzzy white TV, in our bedroom, with my wife who, as ever, was the voice of logic and reason in what is a massive fantasy film.
I'm a huge Superman fan, and I've been waiting for a real Superman film since Superman II. The technology to show such a story was here in 2006, but instead of utilizing that technology to show a real Superman story, Bryan Singer decided to do exactly what had been done before. Superman Returns has it's merits. The plane scene.....okay that's it. But Brandon Routh was good, and it wasn't his fault that he was directed to follow exactly in Christopher Reeve's footsteps rather than take his own path. Kate Bosworth was about as convincing a Lois Lane as Rachel Bilson is a medical professional in Hart Of Dixie. (Yes I watch it. It's the wife, okay, not me. The wife. Honest!) But the story was the real let down. Superman Returns is at best a very expensive, wasted opportunity. And proof that a relaunch of a beloved character is actually warranted.
I've read several reviews and articles and opinions on Man Of Steel over the last few months, taking them all with a pinch of salt. I refused to be wavered until I'd seen it for myself, and you know what? I LOVED it! Everyone else seemed to get annoyed at so many things in this film, but for me there was just one, gapingly massive problem with the film.
It was NOT Zach Snyder being director. I kinda like his work. I mean sure, 300 sucked balls. Lets be honest, without all the speed-ramping on that thing the film would've lasted 23 minutes and let me leave with at least an hour of my life back. But Watchmen was cool. Yes the ending was different to the comic book things change, but it made sense. I thought.
It was NOT casting Englishman Henry Cavill in the main role. I mean the last Batman was Welsh for Jeff's sake!
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| "Tripod? No, just get me some drunk dude to hold this thing. That would be awesome!" - Zack Snyder |
It was NOT that Clark didn't save Pa Kent (Kevin "Can I Show My Bum On Screen" Costner) from a freak tornado. That made sense in the scope of the story. His adoptive father didn't want Clark to expose his powers and put himself at risk, no matter the cost. People will doubtless argue that Clark can move really really really really REALLY FAST, but he was still learning his powers.
It was NOT that Clark's biological father Jor-El (Russell "Can I Use A Phone To Hit That Person" Crowe) made his wife Lara (some woman who couldn't act. Sorry, she couldn't,) go through their planets first natural birth in centuries and NOT include her consciousness in the space craft. I mean sure, what a dick! But as we were always told, this is a story about fathers and sons.
It was NOT that Superman was directly or indirectly responsible for the millions of dollars worth of damage to Metropolis and Smallville, and the multiple deaths of the people there. The dude did his best against a tag team of alien whoop-ass. Yes, he could've done the job when he was on the Phantom Zone prison ship, but then, well, that would've made a rubbish ending. And it's not like all conquering military trained aliens are just going to come down to Earth, throw a bus and blow some people down a street now is it!? They're going to want to conquer!
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| "Um...you think someone's going to make a joke about where your right arm is?" |
And it was NOT: that Superman broke Zod's neck. That made total sense. Zod's gone all Agent Smith from the Matrix on you, and declared either you die or he does. He's gonna kill humans right in front of you. There's no stopping him. *SNAP*. To be honest, I was down with the idea after Zod et'al beat up the dudes adoptive mum. And remember, he's still learning what it is to be Superman. No, in previous stories he's never killed, but here his hand was forced. Everything that happens in this film turns him in to the Superman we all know and love. And it'll be interesting to see if they use that grief in the future films.
So now we meet the crux of this article. The one ad only thing in this film that had me so Jeffed off I...I...I can't put it in to words!
So anyway, Clark Kent. A dude who, before he became the whole Saviour Of The World thing, was a fisherman, a barman, a dude who managed to work for the US Government by forging paperwork, and who has demonstrated no where in the entire film that he has any writing credentials or experience of any kind, or has any desire to work in such an environment, lands a job as a reporter at one of the most famous newspapers on the planet??
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| "Why can't I write anything without fake glasses!" |
What happened? Did Clark ask Lois to give him a reference? (#DoubleEntendreOfTheDay) If they'd shown Clark had written something, anything during the film clueing us in to his ability as any kind of writer, I'd have bought it. This one mistake has made me rage for the last day, although not as loud as I did after I'd seen TDKR, a film which I refuse to name in full for fear of a relapse.
Man Of Steel is a brilliant Superman film, and worthy of keeping of keeping the character going. I'm dubious as to how he'll face off against Batfleck. I personally think it's too soon to bring The Dark Knight back in to the fold when there's clear scope for another good solo outing for Superman. But heh, I'm not in charge of Warner Bros. sat there panicking at how well Marvel are doing with their film universe and desperate to cash in on the superhero genre.
Right, all vented now. I'm spent! Think yourself lucky I haven't written my thoughts on the Vince Vaughan/Owen Wilson "comedy" The Internship. I mean seriously, who thought that film was a good idea? How did Google's value on the stock market not go through the floor?
And more importantly, who keeps giving Vince Vaughan chance to make films?
